Kerry Wants To Rename Arlington After John McCain

WHAT???

The constant and prolonged attack on the culture of Confederate history has dominated the news cycle for the last couple of years now, and it appears that there’s no end to the liberal madness coming any time soon.

The target this time?  Arlington National Cemetery, if you can believe that, because it’s the namesake of the home and headquarters of a Confederate General.

There’s also a growing movement to rename a certain mall franchise that was founded by General James “SlaveRoper” Cinnabon.

Senator and former Secretary of State John Kerry is this week’s party of interest, petitioning Congress for an official change of title for the venerable and historic landmark resting place.

He believes that it should reflect the patriotic sacrifice and honor of a more modern hero, and should take the name of his rival and fellow military veteran John McCain.

Sandy Batt of Americans Stamping Out Traitorous Dicks, a non-profit organization dedicated to driving elderly teabaggers and Trump testicle-slurpers into caniption fits, thinks the renaming would serve several purposes.

She explained her view during a performance of the musical “Hamilton” performed by a flea circus in her brother-in-law’s meth trailer.

“For too long, we’ve associated the name ‘Arlington’ with patriotic figures and American heroism.  That may be true of some of the people finding their rest there, but it’s also a name that conjures visions of slavery and tweakers in Florida driving their pickup trucks through mudholes.

Despite all the absolute nonsense that Trump’s barrel of demented cockmonkey followers believe, John McCain was a true hero in the military.  I fully support John Kerry and buy his wife’s ketchup whenever I have a scrambled egg party.  What.  It’s good on eggs.  Eggs are just abortions that grandmas are okay with.”

“Ma’am? Can I give you some literature about the plight of the Unhatched?”

Kerry’s petition is making the rounds in Congress and the Senate, and is seeing a large amount of support.

What’s next for this movement?  Removing Robert E. Lee’s good name from blue jeans and actors who played patriotic bionic men?

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