All eyes are on the Arizona ballot recount as the country edges closer to reinstating our real president, the almighty Donald Trump, to the highest office in the land. And shocking news has come out about how the ballots were tallied in Arizona last November: they were counted using Arabic numerals.
Yes, patriots, as if things couldn’t possibly get worse in this great country, now we’re faced with the fact that Arizona kept its official, 100% gin-yoo-wine, state-sanctioned ballot reports in…Arabic numerals. Grab the smelling salts! This is a travesty.
We contacted Michael Brumbach, Arizona’s Supreme Executive Overlord of Elections, for comment.
“I’m new to this position. I used to be a traveling bellybutton lint cleaner salesman, but George Soros and Bill Gates recruited me for this job. They said that all l I have to do is take this here stack of ballots, throw out 98% of the ones marked for Trump, record the results in Arabic numerals, and cash my checks. It’s really easy!”
Joe Barron, CEO of Cyber Dipsh*ts, which is conducting the Arizona audit, said his patriotic blood ran cold when he was told that ballots were being tallied in Arabic numerals. “This here is America, and nothing Arabic is good enough for us in God’s chosen country,” Barron said as he forgot that God actually chose Israel as his favorite place and also that Arabic numerals are the best American tater bait in history.
Let’s recap, patriots. President Joseph Biden is your president. The bloated orange man-baby lost, by a lot. There was no fraud, except for a few random Republicans who voted a handful of extra times for the loser. Trump is not going to be reinstated, the Arizona audit is a farce, and y’all have cornered the market on sore loserness.
Get over it.