Former bartender and somehow Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has shaken up Congress with her half-wit hair-brained ideas, much to the chagrin of patriots everywhere. Recent polling has found that she has nearly no chance of being reelected.
The latest poll completed by an acquaintance of a distant relative of Nate Silver from fivethirtyeight.com has shown the Ocasio-Cortez has nearly no chance. A poll was taken of 8,327 Republican voters in a swath of Southern states. Only 62 of them said that they would vote for her, while the other 8,265 said that they would vote for her Republican opponent Joe Barron.
Hey, 99.3 percent of the people can’t be wrong.
Once he heard about this poll, Mr. Barron began his acceptance speech and leaked an excerpt of it to the Craven Moorehead of the America’s Last Line of Defense network.
“I’d like to think that the people of the Bronx and Queens who have seen how wrong they were in electing a kid female bartender to represent them in Congress. You should have primaried her right out if you wanted a chance to win this.
Now you got me and my Conservative values of controlling women, guns, and licking cops’ boots to save you all from yourselves. You’re welcome.”
Of course, as Mr. Barron pointed out himself, only voters in her district can unseat her. She cruised to victory in the 2018 general election and the 2020 primary and is on course to easily win the November since none of the people who were polled can actually vote against her.
Sorry, taters, looks like you have two more uncomfortable years of having a Congresswoman who passionately fights for you and doesn’t give a rip about what you think about her.