Insider : ‘Trump, Pence No Longer on Speaking Terms’


It can happen to even the best of friends.  A tough time, (like a cutthroat election season), a misunderstanding, or any mistrust, whether real or imagined, can cut between two strong personalities like a knife.  A knife made out of Kraken teeth.

According to Joe Barron, Chief of Interior Operations who wished to remain anonymous, the outgoing President and his muffin-topped second-in-command haven’t spoken a word to each other since just after election night.  The freezing air has been kept on the down low as not to further stroke out many of Trump’s dipshitted supporters who believe that Pence has some magic power to reverse the election results in January.

Above : A photo of Pence searching for his Precious ring.  And a lost contact lens.

Other sources back up the claim, and have offered a dozen different reasons for the outbreak of executive oral blueballs.  One staffer claims Pence walked into his office unexpectedly on a late night to finish some paperwork and found Trump voraciously making love to his goldfish “Mother”, whom the Vice President had named lovingly after his high school prom date.

Some feel that the former Indiana governor had become jealous of the attention given to First Lawyer Rudy Guliani and had been lashing out for weeks, throwing his feces on the walls of the Lincoln bedroom, refusing to meet with the Joint Chiefs when called unless he was provided a bean bag chair, and even calling Trump’s private phone line at all hours of the night whispering over and over that he was with the collections department of the IRS.

Let’s not even talk about what he did to the President’s copy of “Ernest Goes to Camp.”

The President, for his part, has long become tired of the DaVinci Code albino leaving his carrot juice IV bags in the sink every morning, the constant annoying prayer vigils after every utterance of a curse word inside the grounds, and Pence’s ongoing habit of reaching for his penis during public speeches and appearances.  Unless these two kiss and make up, January 20th might see two seperate moving vans on Pennsylvania avenue.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply