Albuquerque Lawyer to Trump: ‘My Dead Celebrity Clients Want Their Donations Back’

The bereaved families have demanded a refund!

"I'll take the case. Pay up front please, Grabbyhands."

World-renowned attorney Saul Goodman of Albuquerque has the classiest clients in the legal universe, including many dead celebrities. And Goodman has just shocked the political world with a class-action lawsuit against President Donald J. Trump, demanding that Trump return all of Goodman’s dead clients’ donations to his campaign.

Goodman’s clients — including Henry Winkler, Jon Voight, and the cop who killed George Floyd — donated their entire fortunes to Trump when they died. And now the dead folks’ families want their cheddar back.

Sandy Batt, spokeswoman for Barrister Goodman, said, “Even these people who aren’t really dead have had enough of Trump’s bullsh*t. Their make-believe families are now demanding that their non-existent donations to the worst president in history be returned — with interest — by next week. If not, we will place a lien on all of Trump’s golden toilets and crappy golf courses in order to collect.”

Goodman’s catchy commercials have also gotten the attention of people who haven’t died in real life or in Satire World and who want their money back. Because he answers the phone when anyone calls Saul, he has is building a case on behalf of the living idiots who donated to Trump in addition to the dead dummies.

Teresa Nelson, a brilliant patriot who most definitely didn’t donate to the worst leader in US history, commented that if anyone is stupid enough to (a) support Trump and (b) give their hard-earned money to a carnival barking grifter, they deserve to be penniless.

Saul Goodman, however, is willing to represent anyone who can pay him to keep his inflatable Statue of Liberty in fine form on top of his strip-mall office. So he took the case on behalf of the dead people’s families and will keep 62 percent of whatever he recovers, in honor of the 62 percent of Americans who loathe Trump and can’t wait for him to be gone.

Good riddance, and good luck, Mr. Goodman.